Thursday, February 4, 2010
Rough Draft paragraph for Mentor interview
Coach Cory Tatz is a hard working athletic director and unpaid varsity baseball coach for High Tech High. One regular day that Cory Tatz has is not an easy job to deal with. He is emailing coaches, players, and making sure that every sport is up to its fullest quality. Every sport he has to manage for the High Tech High Village. When I sat down talking to Coach Cory Tatz one big question that I was pondering is "Why High Tech High?" and he answered "The reason High Tech High was that my son was going to another school many years back I didn't like the education he was receiving, the way sports was being done at that school was not exactly what I though it should be or the way it should be or the way it should be done." Coach Cory Tatz is really passionate about sports and good education. He wants to make sure that sports program is ran correctly. Thats why he transitioned to High Tech High. Since 2004 he has been a coach for the Varsity team at the High Tech High Village. 4 out of the 6 years he has been coaching he has made CIF playoffs. "I love baseball more then anything else. It’s my passion in life. There’s noting id rather do than be on a baseball field. And I felt that way for many many years and I’ve coached for a lot of years as a result of that."
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This is a good introductory paragraph, but you should add a physical description and a description of the setting in the beginning! Maybe give some more background on why he got into sports. Also instead of giving a direct question and answer, you could say "when asked 'why High Tech?" Coach Tatz went on to say ".." I like how you used the quote at the end
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